My Life in Instagrams

Listening to: "Safe & Sound" by Taylor Swift (from The Hunger Games soundtrack!)
(Yes, I have jumped on The Hunger Games bandwagon. The books are great, minus the ending, and the movie was pretty good too. I went to the midnight premiere with Mike, Chris, & Elyssa, which was a first for me, but it was fun.) 

Once again, my life in a word: BUSY. Other possibilities include stressed, overwhelmed, and DONE. (Basically, I have senioritis big time.) I'm actually supposed to be researching for a presentation, along with applying for grad school, so I'm going to make my procrastination break quick and update you on my life via Instagr.am pics. It's kind of a sporadic list, but hey, better than nothing, right? (You can click on the pics to make them bigger if you like.)

I've been getting plenty of use out of my Eno that I got for
Christmas! We've had such perfect hammocking weather lately.
I was even interviewed by the Chattanooga Times Free Press
about it when I was laying out in Schimmels Park the other day.

Mike, Darren, & I decided to go canoeing over spring break.
We rented them for 4 hours, and then discovered that the giant
lake was more like a medium-sized pond...

The Kentucky half of spring break consisted of 5 inches of
snow. Random. But really beautiful!

Environmental Science has definitely proved to be my most
entertaining class, for various reasons. I'll have to share a few
quotes sometime. The labs are fun though. Last week, we went
wading in a creek to catch fish. The outfit choices were
quite fashionable, as you can see here.

Another reason to enjoy Environmental: for another lab, we
got to go hiking to see this. FOR CLASS.

I have become addicted to smoothies lately. I've been creating
all sorts of combinations. I've also discovered that you can add
fresh spinach to anything and you cannot taste it. Case in point:
I made some iced coffee the other day and blended it in. Yum.

I FINALLY got around to reading The Hunger Games trilogy.
I know everyone on the planet is talking about them right now,
but they really are good. The movie was pretty good, too. It
could've been better, but I thought they did a pretty good job
at sticking to the storyline (the changes were minor details,
people. Minor details. Calm down).

I've been spending some late nights at IHOP lately. Like right
now. Ugh. Fortunately, my waitress likes to give me what she
refers to as "crack." Basically: doubly strong iced coffee with
a shot of espresso, plus extra flavored syrup and enough sugar
that it's too sweet for me. That's saying something. Trust me.

Spring has sprung! It's so beautiful outside these days. So
many flowers and leaves and just GREEN! I love it.

Pretty, pretty rainbow I saw yesterday. It was so big & bright!
You could see every single color so clearly. I love it.

Spending a lot of time with this guy lately. He's pretty cool,
I guess (see picture). I kinda like him. ;)

Well, that's my life lately. It really is good, just ridiculously busy. I've never been so ready to graduate! Anyway, I better get back to researching for a presentation I have tomorrow, so until next time, enjoy the pictures, at least!

Your grace is enough.

via Megan Gilger

Listening to: "Closer to Love" by Mat Kearney
(I got to see him in concert a couple of weeks ago! So, so good--he's just as great live as he is on his albums. I am so glad I got to go!)

I've officially decided: I hate busyness. Productivity is good. Busy is definitely not. Even now, the only way I'm managing any free time to blog is because I'm sitting in a nursing home lobby by myself, waiting for students in the class I TA for to finish their service project.* Seriously, the number one thing that I've wanted for weeks is a few hours of absolute quiet, all to myself. Maybe someday...

Anyway, this semester. Whoa. It has been really, really good, but really difficult at the same time (just in a completely different way than last semester!). College is always a bit of a balancing act, but this semester is taking it to a whole new level. 17 credit hours (including 2 senior level psych classes and a science), auditing 1 hour, and TAing for a 63-person class, on top of getting back into a relationship, not to mention keeping myself on track with my relationship with God…yeah, it's slightly nuts. (I realize that this seems pretty run-of-the-mill for a lot of people, but for someone who definitely does not thrive on being crazy-busy all the time, it's a stretch!)

via Pinterest

In short, this year so far has been one big lesson to teach me that I'm not perfect, that I really do need God more than anything, and what the meaning of grace really is. For some reason, it can be very hard for me to remember that this is all a process. I'm not going to get it down right away. I'm going to mess up. At the same time, I have to keep trying. That can be a hard balance to find: understanding that His grace makes up for my mistakes because He understands and loves me anyway…

"The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust."

- Psalm 103:13-14

…but not letting that cause me to think that what I do doesn't matter, that I don't have to keep striving to be better.

"Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it?"

- Romans 6:1-2

I am so thankful for what I've been given, but sometimes--most of the time--I feel so unbelievably inadequate. As wonderful as it all is--and it is wonderful--it is so much responsibility and I know all too well how incapable I am. I've proven that over and over and over again. After praying and praying for what I wanted so much, now that I actually have it, I'm constantly asking God, "Are You sure about this? I don't know if I can handle it after all!" Yet He's continually reminding me:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

- 2 Corinthians 12:9

If this is where He wants me, He's going to give me the strength to do it correctly. His grace really is enough. Keeping Him first is the key. If only I could remember that…

Hopefully this balance I'm trying to find will include some free time to blog, but I make no promises! Until next time...

* Thank God for smart phones--my parents got me an iPhone for Christmas. LOVE IT. It is saving my life this semester!

Lessons learned, part 2.

(Here's part two of my list of lessons learned in 2011! If you missed the first half, check it out here.)

7. Hope: Even if He does not.
Hope is tricky. It's such a good thing, yet it is so easy to place it in the wrong things. For months, I've had to ask myself: is my hope in God Himself or in what He can do for me? It's a very fine line to walk. I've had to come to a place where I can say, "Yes, this is what I want to happen, and I believe that You can do it, but my hope is in You. Even if You don't, I'm still going to trust You and follow You as if nothing has changed." That's something I have to convince myself of every single day.

8. Certain joy found only in pain.
Every season of life has its good and bad sides. The happy times are wonderful, of course, but they bring certain challenges that aren't found at other times. In the same way, the hardest times bring certain joys that are found only there. I've had to learn to be thankful, not in spite of the bad times, but because of them. It's not always about pushing through to the other side; I've had to learn to see the beauty in the moment I'm in right now--even if it's painful.

9. Letting go.

This has probably been one of the most excruciating lessons I've ever learned, but one I am unbelievably relieved to have finally gotten through my head (well, still working on it, anyway. Like I said before, this is definitely all a process)! I never realized how much of a control freak I am, not to mention how much damage it can cause! Following God is all about surrender. He has to have control of every area of my life. I've found that I have to be very careful, because I have a tendency to try and regain control of things without even realizing it.

I want to always be able to say, "God, my hands are open. You are free to give and free to take away. And even when You do give--my hands will stay open." It's my natural tendency to cling to the things that I love, but I've discovered that it's a surefire way to get them taken away. Living with your hands open (so to speak) is a really vulnerable place to be, and it can be really hard sometimes, but at the same time, it has been the most freeing experience I've ever had.

10. Be present.
Waiting. It's something that I seem to constantly be doing, but something I'm really bad at! I have a tendency to see the big picture first, then fill in all the details later. That can be a really good quality, but it can also get me into trouble. Sometimes (most of the time), I am so focused on the end result that I forget that the detail work of right now is what it takes to get there. Once again, I've had to learn to make a conscious effort to just be present. Right now matters. (Being thankful really comes into play here!)

11. Faith.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
- Hebrews 11:1

I've heard that verse so many times, but I have never had to come to terms with what it really means as much as I have over the past few months. All of these lessons come down to faith in one way or another. It has definitely always been a part of my life in some way, but not like this. I say I believe in God. I say that I trust Him. I say that I believe He's good, and that His plan is best. And I really thought that I did believe those things. But when it all came down to it, did I really? Enough to actually act on it? It took me a long time to finally let go enough to be able to honestly say yes. It's still hard sometimes.

12. Freedom.

"It's easy for our thoughts to be dominated by a craving.... It takes ahold of us. We are not free…. If I want something to the point that I can't conceive of being content without it, then it owns me.... What started out as freedom can quickly become slavery.... Freedom is going without whatever we crave and being fine with it."

- Rob Bell in Sex God

I honestly cannot explain how profound that one quote has been for me. I wish I didn't understand it as perfectly as I do, but it has been my life for so long. But after months and months of digging deep and letting God do some major work on my heart, for the first time in a long, long time…I'm finally free. And freedom is incredible.

That isn't to say that it's easily kept.

"If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it."

- Genesis 4:7

Going back to the idea of perseverance: it definitely applies here. It's cliche to say, but freedom is not free. I've had to fight for it, and I'm still having to fight to keep it. Still, I'm not losing it this time.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

- Galatians 5:1

***

I just want to let you know, I love you all so much! (Even those of you I don't know personally--your comments and messages have been so encouraging, and I really, really do appreciate it more than you know!). Thanks for being awesome. I hope you all have an amazing new year!

Lessons learned.

Listening to: "Hymn" by Brooke Fraser
My theme song of the moment. So simple and beautiful and good. I love her music! Possible post about this one soon? Maybe? We'll see.

Oh, what a year. I don't even know how to begin to describe it. Joy. Hope. Pain. Despair. Trust. Anxiety. Loss. So, so much gained. I have never experienced anything quite like it*, and to be perfectly honest, I'd rather not have to ever again!

Still, I know this is going to be one of those years that I look back on with so much amazement, and probably even a little bit of wishing for certain aspects of it to come back. Sometimes, the most beautiful things can only be found in the most painful times. I've experienced so much growth this year, so much change that needed to happen--big time. I love the times when I'm constantly learning, when things are constantly clicking in my head, and I finally get it. And boy, did I learn a lot. (That being said, I am still so glad this year is over! I will never pray for anything close to that ever again. God can teach me on His own time. LESSON LEARNED.)

I've kept up with blogging about a lot of the lessons I've learned this year as they were happening, so I won't go into crazy detail here, but I did feel the need to be really cliche and make a retrospective year-in-review (or lessons-in-review, as it may be) kind of post. :) It's more for myself than for anyone, but I figured I'd share anyway. Also, since there have been so many different lessons, I'll post it in parts. Part one today, the rest to come soon!

Highlights (in no particular order):**

1. Be still and know.
Life is not predictable. Things are not going to go the way I expect them to, and God is not going to work the way I think He should. One of my favorite verses is Psalm 46:10:

"Be still and know that I am God."

Apparently, an alternate translation of "be still" is "let go"--

"Let go and know that I am God."

Stop freaking out. Stop worrying. Stop trying to control everything. Just be still, let it go, and recognize that He is God and I am not. He's got it under control, so I need to let Him be in control.

2. Thankfulness.
Gratitude: it's something you hear a lot about, but generally don't make a conscious effort to include it in your daily life. At least, that's how it's been for me. This is a huge thing that God has been teaching me over the past several months. Thankfulness is not just a nice suggestion; it's vital to joy and contentment and keeping God first (which, consequently, are all tied very closely together!). Even when everything is going wrong, there is always something to be thankful for, even if you have to get down to the tiniest things. Sometimes, it's the little things that matter most.***

3. Seek Him first.

"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you as well."

- Matthew 6:33

God absolutely has to be first in my thoughts, in my heart, in my life. My whole life needs to be centered around Him. When it all comes down to it, He really is the only thing that matters. A relationship, a career, a life goal, whatever--if anything else is getting most of my attention and is what I'm striving for most, then something is wrong. He is the "prize," if you will. Nothing else.

"But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ."

- Philippians 3:7-8

I've always kind of understood that in my head, but this is the first time it's really clicked, and the first time that I've made a conscious effort to make it my way of life.**** Because it does require effort, constant effort, which brings me to my next point...

4. Perseverance: Keep pushing.
Everything is a process. Keeping the main goal in sight is absolutely crucial, because otherwise, you will never make it anywhere. The rest of life is way too distracting, and when things get painful and doubt starts creeping in, perspective is nearly impossible to maintain. The only way I've been able to keep going is because I've been doing my best to keep Lesson #3 in the front of my mind as much as I possibly can. My mindset: Push through the pain now, because it's the only way through. It will hurt, but the end will be worth it. And then (like now), once the pain is past, the goal still has to be in sight because at that point, it's the only motivation you have. There are no breaks here; it's a daily choice to make for the rest of your life.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

- Philippians 3:12-14

5. Blessings in disguise.
Sometimes, God's best does not come in the form we expect. Sometimes, His blessings come to us in really heartbreaking ways. Sometimes, pain is proof that God loves us.

God knows what's best for us. The thing is, it usually takes a good deal of pain to actually get there. Rarely can we get to where He wants us to be without giving up certain things we have now. Gaining His best often requires a lot of loss on our part. That isn't to say that we don't gain so much more--we do--but loss is always painful. And sometimes, there are things in our hearts that have to be removed, and a lot of times, it requires a great deal of pain to bring it to the surface. In the end, if we handle it correctly, pain will always bring us closer to God. Isn't that in itself worth it?

"You said, 'I know that this will hurt
But if I don't break your heart, then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear,
Remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there.'"
- "Let It All Out" by Relient K

6. Dig deep: Finding purpose in the pain.
When it comes to dealing with pain, we have two options: Face it head on or bury it with distractions. Option one actually gets us somewhere, while option two is only going to make things hurt even more in the end.

Finding purpose in the hardest times requires us to do some serious soul-searching. It means digging deep and making some changes that we may not have even realized we needed. I'm not saying that every painful situation is a result of something we've done wrong, because that's definitely not the case. Still, every painful situation can be used to grow, and growth almost always requires change. Hard? Very. Worth it? Most definitely.

(Click here for part 2!)

*I do have to say, though--it's had its fair share of similarities to 2009! Kind of scary in some ways. Both were definitely big years for learning and growing and maturing in major ways. Just different ones.
**It was kind of hard for me to divide these up into a nice little list because all of these lessons are so related and intertwined and often inseparable. But…I did my best.
***Keeping a list of "the little things" I'm thankful for has become one of my favorite things. It's amazing how much you miss when you aren't looking! God really is so good.
****This is such a basic concept, I know, and it's one I've heard all my life, but the meaning of it didn't click until this year. Maybe I'm a little slow, but the basic, foundational stuff has been big for me lately. It's like I'm finally getting it, not just in my mind, but in my heart, because I'm actually experiencing it and having to make the conscious decision to include it in my life.

Procrastination (n): This post right here

Photo Credit: Unknown

Listening to: "Element" by Matthew Mayfield
This song is seriously beautiful. I love it. I also love Matthew Mayfield. Get his Now You're Free album--"Element" included--for free on NoiseTrade (of course--seriously, that site is the best)! Good stuff, all of it.

Hey, friends. Seeing that I have a 7-page research paper to write (I currently have a page and a half), two smaller papers, and 50 pages of Frankenstein to read (I've read about 5), all by tomorrow, that obviously means it's time for me to procrastinate even more by writing a blog post. Some things never change.*

Digging Deep, cont.
Remember how I was talking about digging deep and such in my last post? Well, last Sunday after I wrote it, guess what Scripture the sermon was based around? Oh, Psalm 139 (which I ended the post with). And guess what his one comment on the last two verses (the ones I used) was? Oh, just that "search me" in the original Hebrew essentially means to dig deep. Ha! I love it.

Compassion
I started sponsoring a kid through Compassion International last week! His name is Prosenjit and he's 11 and from India. I'm super excited. It's something that I've wanted to do since I was like, 12, but was always afraid to commit to a monthly payment. Ever since the summer, though, I've kinda felt like it's something that God wanted me to do, but still, it took me a couple of months to finally decide that it's a faith thing: if He wants me to do it, He'll provide the money somehow. Besides, I have so much. Most of the world lives on less than a dollar a day. The average income for the area where Prosenjit lives? $15 a month. That's like 50 cents a day. I spend seven times that much--an entire week's worth of pay for them--multiple times a week on a cup of COFFEE. They'd have to save absolutely everything for nearly 4 months just to pay for a tank of gas. How's that for some perspective?

Not only that, but everything that Compassion stands for is exactly what I want to do with my life. For me, this is like taking the first step in actually fulfilling that. I like that they're all about changing lives at the individual level. I like that they recognize that the spiritual aspect is absolutely crucial, which is why they work through local churches. I just like what they do a lot. Their Holistic Child Development model makes perfect sense to me...hence the reason I'm planning to get my masters degree in just that! So even though I technically just started getting involved with them, what they stand for is something that I am really passionate about, so get ready: you're probably about to start hearing a lot more about it!

Thankful
Thankfulness is such a common theme for this time of year, but it's something that's been a recurring theme for me over the past couple of months, and not something I plan to change! I've been keeping a daily list of little things that I'm thankful for, and it's amazing how it has changed my perspective for the better! 

• The sound of rain
• The 11(!) little kids I got to spend my Thanksgiving with (including 3 sweet girls who are convinced I'm a superstar)**
• Good music
• Christmas lights at Inman
• Slowly understanding more & more about what God is up to...and even then, recognizing that I don't have a clue.

Things I Like

• Everything about this room:

  

  1. Photo clothesline, complete with vintage frame and painted knobs
  2. Bird pillow (anything with bird silhouettes automatically means I love it)
  3. Collage painting--I love, love, love the idea of decorating with my own artwork
  4. Painted lampshade (and I like that teal lampshade, too!)

• Tennessee print (love the lettering, love Tennessee):

  

  "Rocky Top, you'll always be home sweet home to me."

  
  
• This "Choose Joy" print. Birds & a reminder I need constantly--perfect:
  

  

  "Choose joy. Because everything is relative."

*Well, by the time I'm actually posting this, my paper has been completed. Only 7 hours of work. You know, no big deal... I just spent a lot of time procrastinating in between.
**Yes, 11 kids. My two cousins, my friend's two little girls, and 7 of her little cousins. If I ever have self-esteem issues, I just need to go hang out with them. I'm pretty sure Lizzie (6), Emma (4), & Mackenzie (8) are convinced that I'm the greatest thing that ever happened to planet Earth. I'm not really sure why, but hey, I'm not complaining!

Blessings in disguise

"Birdsong" via We Heart It

Listening to: "Strong Enough to Save" by Tenth Avenue North

(Yet another song that has come at the perfect time. I like how God tends to speak to me through the things I enjoy the most: music, books, nature, friends... It's kinda cool, really.)

(I have a lot to say lately. To avoid writing the longest blog of the century, however, I think I'm going to break it up into smaller pieces. It's a little too much to take in all at once, even for me!)

I was reading some of my old posts the other day, and I came across one I wrote back in April that made me laugh. It wasn't actually funny, but oh, the irony! Life wasn't bad, just really boring and routine, and I was getting tired of it. I even went so far as to say that I missed sophomore year. Ha! Well, wish no more, because I'm pretty sure I'm living out fall 2009, round two. They're so parallel, it's a little freaky. That's what I get for asking God to teach me something. Never again! From here on out, I will be content with boredom and let Him teach me on His own time. This isn't quite what I signed up for! Geez.

Anyway. As promised, I wanted to blog about this song:

Blessings
Laura Story

"We pray for blessings, we pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

And all the while, you hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?

What if Your healing comes through tears?

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You're near?

And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear

We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

All the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win

We know the pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not our home

And what if my greatest disappointments

Or the achings of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?"

I think I could go on for days about these lyrics. To be honest, this isn't the kind of song I would typically like, but the lyrics are so meaningful that I can't help myself.* I heard it so many times this summer (it made me cry almost every time, but at the same time, I tried my hardest to ignore it. What my problem was, I don't know). The other day, though, I was driving around by myself for 3 hours straight, and it came on at the most perfect time possible. I've been hooked ever since. It is so fitting to where I am right now. A few lines I wanted to comment on...

* * *

"All the while, You hear each spoken need, yet love us way too much to give us lesser things."

Whoa. It hit me so hard the first time I realized what this actually said. God does hear every word I say; He's not up there ignoring me or withholding the things I so desperately want just for the heck of it. When God says no, it's for my benefit. Always. If what I'm asking for is less than what is ultimately best for me, He loves me too much to give it to me. He can't give me less than His absolute best. It sounds cliché in some ways, but when that kind of realization really hits you, it's huge. That's something I've been trying to get through my head lately. It's not easy. Most of the time, I feel like, "Well, I don't want better. I just want this!" Yet I can't see what's ahead. I have no idea what's coming next in my life. In reality, I have no idea what I really need. I just have to trust that He does.

* * *

"We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear. We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near. We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love, as if every promise from Your Word is not enough."

Well, that's my summer summed up in three sentences. Praying over and over and over for wisdom, for God to speak to me, to know what the heck I'm supposed to do next, yet...no answer. It's so frustrating, and yeah, anger has been my response a good bit of the time.

A couple of weeks ago at church, Allan Lockerman pointed out something that I had never thought about before.** He was talking about Isaiah 50:10-11, and at one point, it refers to trusting "in the Name of the Lord." Not in the Lord--in His Name. I've always kind of wondered about that, but assumed there was no distinction. Not so. He explained that, particularly in Hebrew culture, someone's name is who they are, their character. I can't always sense that God is near, but I can always trust Him to be true to Himself. I can always trust that His character will never change.

I doubt God so much, yet I have no legitimate reason whatsoever. He has proved Himself over and over again, not only in the lives of others, but in mine. He has never, ever shown Himself to be anything less than what He says...but still, I doubt. Why? He has promised me so much. That should be enough, even if I don't see it right now.

* * *

"What if trials of this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights, are Your mercies in disguise?"

This is a concept I've struggled to grasp. I get it in my head, and I can totally apply it to other people. Actually, I can usually apply it to myself, but this time? I've had a really, really hard time with it. I think I'm starting to get it though. I don't understand much of anything that's happened over the past few months, but I'm coming the the conclusion: the less I understand and the harder the situation, the less I can depend on myself. That forces me to depend on God, causing me to trust Him and grow closer to Him. Even aside from the fact that it could be preparing me for something I can't see yet, or protecting me, or whatever...isn't that in itself worth it? He's worth everything. Knowing Him is the most important thing. Whatever it takes to get that is absolutely worth it, no question.

"And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28

* Generally speaking, I haven't been a huge fan of Christian music for the past few years. Lately though, I'm finding myself listening to it more and more. Go figure. 
** Common occurrence. I love that man. 

Cake, classes, & flannel shirts

Listening to: "All About Us" by He Is We (featuring Owl City)

I love this song so much. I've kinda liked He Is We for awhile now, and of course, if you don't know that I love Owl City, we obviously have not been friends for very long. It's a nice combination, I think. :)

It feels like fall today! Unfortunately, I think this is because it's going to rain, but whatever. I'll take what I can get. At the very least, it's a good excuse to wear a flannel shirt.*

Anyway.

I am currently eating Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Cheesecake from City Café. It is so good. City Café is a diner in Chattanooga that I, along with a few friends, went to yesterday for Audrey's birthday. They have a little bit of everything as far as food goes--also very good--but the cake! It's amazing. They have approximately 943204328 different kinds (regular cake and cheesecake alike), from Butterfinger to Coke to Raspberry White Chocolate. It was a little pricey for my tastes ($6 a slice), but since the slices are huge...it was justifiable. Besides, it's cake. How can you not justify cake?

In other news, I've just been (basically) enjoying the start of my senior year of college.** Classes are pretty cool, I got a job as a TA, and I've pretty much been living an otherwise uneventful life. God's been teaching me a lot, and I guess I'm slowly learning, as usual (two steps forward, one step back, repeat. I'll get there eventually). I could go into more detail about that, but I'll save it for another time. I'm not feeling particularly introspective at the moment. :)

In the meantime...

• Pinterest. Because I like things.
• The song "Autumn" by Ben Rector.

"So I watched the leaves fall
All of the way to the ground
And I knew that that was what love was
To die so that it could be found...

Winter's chill won't leave until
I let it lay me down
And you can't see the spring
'Til you're like the leaves
Here on the autumn ground"

• Spotify. Free music + it's legal. Enough said.

*I'm kind of addicted to flannel shirts... I'm tempted to buy one every time I see one. Unfortunately (or luckily?), I rarely have money in my bank account to act on these temptations.
** Senior year? Um, what?(!?!?!?!)

Life, love, & design.

Listening to: "Waking Up" by Olin & the Moon

(I love websites like NoiseTrade and Brite Revolution. So much great, free music to be discovered. I've found some of my now-favorite songs through them. Definitely something to check out! This song in particular is one of those chill, rainy day-type songs. For whatever reason, songs like that tend to be my favorites. Anyway. Get it on Brite Revolution.)

Hello again! I think it's time for a real update. There are so many things spinning around in my head at the moment, but I think most of them can be classified under one of three things, hence the title of this post.

Life
First: A quick breakdown on what's going on with me. Overall, life is good. However, I've decided that spring semesters just aren't as good as fall semesters (though much less dramatic, which I am perfectly okay with). Oh well. Currently...

• Spring break! Yay! After changing plans 85 times, I decided to come home until Wednesday night. Mike's going to pick me up in Atlanta and after he gets off work on Thursday, we're heading to Kentucky to see his parents for a day. I'm actually kinda excited about that.
• Ridiculous reviews on Amazon. Today, I discovered this gem of a review for Mae's (a)fternoon EP:

"This is music. If you like music, buy this. This is not a box of croutons. If you want croutons you are looking in the wrong place. In Pieces is a good song. Better than Prince, or anything from the 80's. If you are from the 90's you would probably rather listen to croutons shaking around than 80's music. If that's the case, buy this Mae album or a box of croutons, but not 80's songs."

Ummm...what?! Hahaha! People are so ridiculous.

• Advance Class Selection. Oh my gosh. To think that I'm registering for classes for my senior year of college is mind-boggling. How on EARTH am I this old?* 27 hours to go, and only 9 of those consist of required classes. Hello, fun electives!

Love
Two things: 1) relationships are hard and 2) I don't love other people anywhere near as much as I should. Both have been bothering me lately.

First of all, relationships. The give-and-take side of love can be a hard thing, I'm finding, but at the same time, I wouldn't give it up for anything. My biggest problem right now? Dealing with all the petty criticism from other people. I never thought I'd say this, but it's making graduation look sweeter every day.

Photo Cred: Julian Bialowas

Second, I've been reading this book called Amazing Grace by Jonathan Kozol for my Child Development class, and I can't stop thinking about it. It focuses on the lives of children growing up in the South Bronx district of NYC, and while I do think the book has a bit of a political agenda and possibly overstates a few things, I also think it contains a good deal of truth. And that truth is slightly heartbreaking. I guess I just don't understand why we (myself included) feel that we have the right to treat certain people worse than others, simply based on social standing, be it economic status or popularity. We're all human. We all have hearts that can love and hurt with equal depth. We all have hopes and fears for the future. It's cliché to say, but underneath all of our differences, we're so similar. So some of us make bad decisions. Who doesn't? It's like no one cares to look a little deeper to try and understand the reasons behind the undesirable things we see in others, yet we're so resentful of those who judge us on a surface level. Why do we expect something from others that we aren't even willing to live up to ourselves? The book also has me thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life--and what I'm currently doing. I'm not completely sure what, specifically, I'm planning to do, but I do know that I want to make it a point in both my career and my everyday life to love the people that the rest of the world seems to deem "unlovable," no matter what. That I am sure of.

Design

Anyway, switching gears: I have been so obsessed with design-related stuff lately. Not that this is anything new, really--I'm always up for some good design. But I'll also go through phases where I seriously cannot get enough of it and now is one of those times. Blogs, magazines, anything. I love it.

Pro: It gets me thinking about creative ideas to implement later (i.e. future home, designs for my future freelance design business--or maybe just design classes, but hey, I can dream--or, you know, just whatever).
Con: I have to wait to implement them.

Anyway, here are a few things I've been liking lately:

Julian Bialowas' 365Q Photos
Seriously gorgeous-yet-simple photography/typography, and I like the quotes, too. After seeing these pictures, I kinda want to visit Alberta, Canada. You'll probably be seeing some of these show up in future posts (one of which can be seen above).

Rue Magazine

It's a fairly new online magazine devoted to design of all types (especially interior). There's some really great stuff to be found! I mean, seriously, I even like the ads. Since it's an online magazine, if you see something you like, you can usually click on it for a direct link to buy. Pretty cool! As far as particular favorites, I'm kinda liking the modern-rustic design in the Brooke Giannetti article on page 37 of the latest issue. Seems like a good combination for me.

Random Collaborations of Other Cool Stuff**

I just like things. Like these:

1. Firefly wedding invitations 2. "Me & You" engraved pencils 3. Ventricle vase 4. "Things To Do When Bored" poster 5. Chalkboard paint

So! That's my life lately. Hopefully, I won't go so long between "real" updates next time, but with me, you never can tell. Until then, I hope things are going awesomely for the rest of you!

*No, I don't actually think 20 is "old," but I do think that it's old for me. How can I possibly already be an "adult"?! What the heck, life? Stop going by so fast!
**Ahem. In case you didn't pick up on this, every word in that subtitle is a link to a different design-related blog. Enjoy!

Finals week, fall 2010: Success!

Listening To: "If It's Love" by Train

I think it's safe to say that this finals week was the best yet. The exams weren't exactly my favorite, but I think all the fun stuff in between more than made up for it!

On the 3rd, after a much-needed roomie date to Rembrandt's...

Roommate, coffee, good conversation... Yes.

...I went to see Conrad Anker speak in Chatt. He's led several climbing expeditions, including some to Everest and Antarctica. Pretty sweet. I was originally supposed to go with Mike, but since he had to work, Kristi came along instead. I'm really glad--I've been needing some time with her anyway! After that was over, we walked around downtown a little. We ended up going into this organic grocery store called Greenlife and discovered they had a little café-type thing inside where they sold GELATO. Best. Discovery. Ever. Who cares if it was below freezing outside? Gelato is worth it.

Mango-pineapple gelato. Sooo good.

We always manage to have a good adventure!

The next night, I went with Mike to DJ a middle school dance. That was pretty fun--boyfriend, music, and getting to watch a bunch of kids act ridiculous. Sounds good to me! After we finished there, we went back to his place where a bunch of our friends were finishing up a Christmas/Hanukkah party, so it was fun to hang out with them for awhile.

Next up: Gingerbread houses! Kristi & Jaynese invited Mike, Jon, Will, Chris, and me over for dinner, followed by building and decorating gingerbread houses. I haven't done that in forever, so that was definitely a lot of fun!

This picture is my life.

Our house collapsed :(

The finished product!

After cleaning up, we went to Jon's place to hang out. We had already made plans to stay up all night and go watch the sunrise. We were all pretty exhausted though, so around 3:30am, we all crashed in Jon's living room for an hour. Around 4:45am, Mike, Kristi, Chris, and I headed up to Chilhowee. It was freezing (19 degrees, plus lots of wind), but this made it all worth it:

Good morning, world!

Seriously, most gorgeous sunrise ever. Check out more pictures here, here, and here. I wish I had the motivation to go see more sunrises because I like them just as much as sunsets. I just hate the early morning factor!

After sleeping for a few hours, a group of us went to Chatt for dinner and a movie. We went to Chili's to eat, and then ended up going to see The Town at the dollar theater (I love $1 Wednesdays!). This wasn't really my choice, as I'm not a fan of going to see movies like that without knowing what the heck to expect, but I survived it. It was pretty intense, but a good movie as far as storyline goes.

Friday, I spent the day running errands with Mike, going with him to DJ the Taekwondo awards ceremony/Christmas party (side note: I skipped rank!! I'm officially a level 2 green belt, which is pretty exciting for me. Totally wasn't expecting that), and then going out to Applebee's, courtesy of my parents (they gave him a gift card for his birthday). All in all, definitely a good day.

Saturday was Jaynese's graduation (I'll try to add pictures later, when I get them). So crazy--I can't believe that'll be me in just 3 semesters! Scary thought! After that, going out to eat (again), taking a short nap, and packing, Darren and I headed back to Georgia for break, which is where I am now. 4 weeks of being at home... We'll see how that goes!

Thanksgiving 2010!

Listening to: "Betty" by Brooke Fraser
(If you haven't heard her new album yet, you should. Brooke Fraser is always great, and this is definitely no exception! "Betty" is probably my favorite song, but there are plenty of good ones to choose from. If you get it on Amazon, there's a bonus acoustic version of "Flags." I'm a fan.)

The semester is almost over.

What. The. Heck.

How is that even possible?! It's been an interesting one, that's for sure! For once, a semester isn't ending on a lame note. It's about time! I'm kind of torn between being extremely ready for break (I hate school) and not wanting to leave at all (I love people).

One fun thing I've done of late: Lee Family Thanksgiving! A group of about 20 of my friends got together on Monday and had a big Thanksgiving dinner. Sooo good. We had SO much food, including 2 turkeys that my boyfriend made (stuffed and all!). I vote this becomes a tradition. (Well, you know, for the one year we have left in college...)

Best turkey I've had all year, and that's not an exaggeration.
I was definitely impressed.

Family :)

I spend the majority of my life with these people.

I'm currently on my last day of Thanksgiving break. It's been good, I guess. Between hanging out with my cousins and playing with Lizzie & Emma (cutest. kids. ever. No, really--they are), going to the movies with Zach, Joey, & Rachel, and eating 2 Thanksgiving meals (2 of the 4 I've had this week), I can't really complain!

Like I said. Adorable.

Emma loves playing with my hair.
Lizzie is just awesome & hilarious in general.

Now, I'm ready to get back to school and finish up these last couple of days of classes and finals, then spend an extra few days just hanging out. I'm pretty excited about that. :) Hopefully, there will be plenty of adventures between now and then, so expect another update sometime in the near future!