Monday, August 3, 2009


I logged onto Myspace a few minutes ago, just for the heck of it. I don't know why I still check it--I never get anything new on there anymore. This time, however, I had both a new friend request and a new message. Friend request was irrelevant. The message... Um. See for yourself:
Subject: Because breaking up is hard to do...
Message:after a "rigorously" brief overview of your profile, I jsut wanted to let you know that I've already married and divorced you in my mind..thanks for all the wonderful imaginary memories, you will always have a special place in my heart :)

your ex hubby

ps, you can have the dog and I will take the house in hawaii :)
pps, if you don't laugh, then its not funny, lol.

Umm.. Thank you? I've never seen this guy before in my life. Apparently, my profile re-publicized itself after I set it to private (this has since been fixed). But really, this guy needs to work on his pickup technique. A few points he should have considered:

#1: The obvious: It's MYSPACE. Enough said.

#2: Punctuation and capitalization are valuable.

#3: You don't know me, nor do you have any connection to me whatsoever. This, added with point #1, is kind of a major deal-breaker. It also adds to your creeper factor by a lot.

#4: If you are trying to hit on a girl, why would you tell her that you've divorced her in your mind already? That really gives her hope for the longevity of the potential relationship, don't you think?

#5: I better be getting a whole lot more than just the dog.

This gives me an idea: I should write a book for guys on how to go about their relationships with girls! I mean, I have plenty of real-life examples to use. I think it would have the potential to be a bestseller.

P.S. I found new music! Ever heard of Blake Aaron Guthrie? He's kind of like a Matt Wertz/Dave Barnes mix. I found him while randomly clicking around on NoiseTrade (I love that site). You can get his Love in Different Lights EP on there for free. Just FYI. :)

1 comment:

  1. HAHA this made me laugh so hard
    Mainly because you would be the one to experience the awkwardness of males :)