Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Initially speaking...

Listening To: Cinema Paradiso (Se) by Josh Groban

I've been in such a writing mood lately. I'm not sure why. And I've been in the typing-writing mood, not handwriting. It's funny--they're two different things for me. So, hence the reason I am starting this blog. I don't know who is ever going to read it, but hey. If I can get it out, I'm okay with that.

I am so excited to be going back to school in five days. Really, I can't even tell you how much I've missed all my friends. You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to being able to text 5,000 people and say, "Jazzman's at 9pm?" Hanging out in the post office. Spontaneous trips to Walmart, McDonald's, and Steak & Shake. Medlin Movie Madness (oh yes...we are reinstating it!). Heck, right now, I'm even missing the daily grind of going to class, doing homework, eating in the dining hall... Wow, I think I'm losing my mind!

I'm also noticing that home seems to mean something else for me than it does for everyone else. Most people are not looking forward to leaving home and coming back to school. Or if they are, they have mixed feelings about it. (Like, two exceptions here.) I have halfway mixed feelings about leaving my family again, but that's about it. I don't get homesick. Ever. I always feel like I haven't been away long enough. I wonder if that will ever change? A week is about the longest of my preferred break lengths. I just prefer not to think about summer at all. Heh!

I'm curious to see if anything will have changed when we get back. By "anything," I mean all this crazy relationship-related drama that we had going on at the end of last semester. Seriously, I hope so. I just need some good, normal friendship. Enough of this who-likes-who stuff. And enough of the awkwardness!

Moving to the opposite end of the spectrum, I went out to eat with my family tonight. It was nice to spend that time with them. I'm glad I changed my attitude since our last family outing like that. Ugh! I'm working on it. I'm trying to change in so many ways...it's hard to remember what's what, but I think I'm doing okay. I hope so anyway. But it's stuff like that that I miss, I guess. I miss seeing them and talking to them and laughing with them. Yet those moments seem to come so few and far between, and you know, I'm really not sure why. I guess we all tend to get wrapped up in our own little worlds and don't really think about what else we're missing out out.

That being said, I'm going to end this and join "their world," so to speak. :) We'll see how well I actually keep up with this thing.

Much love, xoxo, all that.