Thursday, May 19, 2011

Trust and obey.

Listening to: "Light Up The Sky" by The Afters
(It's amazing to me how God can use a simple song to be so comforting. This song has made it to the top of my iTunes most played list within the past couple of days. It's a good one.)

"There is no ongoing spiritual life without this process of letting go. At the precise point where we refuse, growth stops. If we hold tightly to anything given to us, unwilling to let it go when the time comes to let it go or unwilling to allow it to be used as the Giver means it to be used, we stunt the growth of the soul."

- Elisabeth Elliot

It seems to be the number one recurring theme in my life, a lesson I'm constantly learning in various degrees, in a variety of ways.

Sometimes it's exciting.
Sometimes it's scary.
Sometimes it's painful.

And then there are the times when it becomes so frightening and excruciating that you feel like you can't survive, when understanding is nonexistent, and you feel as if God has completely blindsided you for no particular reason.

Now is one of those times.

I never expected to be here, but since when does God work within my expectations? If there was any other way, I would have chosen it, but in this case, God gave me no other option. Once again, I had to come to terms with the fact that I have to trust Him and obey whatever He tells me, even when it hurts. Even when doesn't make sense. I have no idea what's coming next. I've never been very good at predicting the future (case in point) but I always seem to try anyway. This time, though? The only thing I can do is take life one step at a time, because everything is completely out of my hands at this point. All I can do is trust. And, somehow, that has to be okay.

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised."
- Hebrews 10:36

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