Ping pong and patience

Listening to: Unsaid by The Fray

You know, I kind of forgot how much my life at home revolves around church. So different from my life at school. It's kind of amusing, really. Gotta love being a PK.

Anyway. So tonight, I re-realized just how much I love my friends here...and what it's like being the only girl around. (It's no wonder I was going crazy my first few days of college, not knowing any guys!) It was just a good night overall. Nothing terribly spectacular, just good. It was nice to talk to Chad again, laugh at Keith and Elijah's jokes, play ping pong (I don't know why I don't play at school more often--it's so fun), etc. I guess I've missed them more than I realize. I think I take them for granted sometimes, and I really shouldn't. In a way, they're like a part of my family. So in that sense, I'm kind of glad to be at home for the summer. They've started The C.R.E.W. (our drama team) up again, and I am really excited to get to help out with that! Obviously, it would be kind of pointless for me to re-join the team (though they asked me to), but I am totally up for helping out with it. I seriously miss doing dramas. It was such a huge part of my life during high school. Oh, changes.

I like when God speaks to me through other people. Mr. Larry taught the youth group's lesson tonight, and it was so relevant to me, though not in the way he intended. He talked about David, and how even though he had been anointed as king, he didn't immediately try to jump into it. He just continued where God had placed him for the time--as a shepherd--and stayed faithful to that. Even though he knew he was supposed to be king, he still waited for God to open up a way for him to get there when it was the right time. That was a good reminder for me that God's timing is best, and sometimes, I have to wait for the things that I want. I just have to be patient and accept where He has me right now. Everything else will come in time, when I'm ready for it. If I try and rush things, I'll end up screwing the whole thing up (and trust me, I'm pretty good at doing that). I just need to focus on who God wants me to be and what He wants me to do now, and leave my future up to Him. That's so hard for me, especially in this particular situation, when everything is so uncertain. Patience is not exactly my greatest strength (my roommate can attest to this), but God seems pretty bent on teaching it to me, so I guess the sooner I learn, the better. :)

By the way, I just discovered the above song ("Unsaid" by The Fray) hiding on my computer and listened to it for the first time today. I like those random discoveries, especially for songs like this. Good song.

Whoa, summer?!

Listening To: Skyline Drive by Mae

I have decided that I'm not really a fan of this whole not having a permanent residence thing. It is entirely too much trouble to move two and a half times a year (the half being Christmas break). I mean, really? And who knew I had so much stuff?! Talk about ridiculous.

Since being home, I have been doing some intense cleaning. If I had a crazy amount of stuff at school, it was double that left at home. My room was a disaster area after bringing everything in (see above picture). Seeing as there was no room for the stuff I actually needed/wanted, I had to go through and get rid of a ton of stuff before I could even think about unpacking. I'm still not done, but needless to say, it looks a heck of a lot better. Hey, I can actually see my closet floor for the first time in 5 years! (And sadly, I am entirely serious.) I'm pretty proud of myself.

I'm debating whether or not to throw in one of those standard nostalgic, introspective end-of-the-semester reviews here or not. Maybe I should just save that for my own thoughts. However, I will say that it was an amazing, amazing year. They say your freshman year is the worst. If that's the case, then my college experience is going to be absolutely incredible. I have made some of the greatest friends I've ever had in my life, learned some interesting (and valuable!) lessons, and, you know, I think I've become more myself. I like that. :) I'm excited for next semester (though I'll admit that I'm a little apprehensive, too, in some respects. I guess that's where trusting God comes in).

Anyway, it's late (or early?), and I have things to do tomorrow, so I'm out. Happy summer!

Thinking, over-thinking...

Listening To: You're Not Sorry by Taylor Swift

I have recently come to the realization that I think entirely too much.

I was talking to Mike the other night, having one of our usual Facebook conversations about nothing in particular, and we somehow got on the subject of thinking and the random stuff I think about. Well, now I can't stop thinking about those things. For example, the concept of Opposite Day has eluded me my whole life. I mean, if you actually say the opposite for everything, you end up saying something that's not really the opposite of what you mean at all. Like, for "Everything is beautiful," you would say, "Nothing isn't ugly," which doesn't really make sense at all. At least, it definitely isn't the opposite in meaning, which would be "Nothing is beautiful," or maybe, "Everything is ugly." But then you aren't really using opposites. Not only that, but how can you even tell someone that it's Opposite Day? If you say, "Today is Opposite Day," on Opposite Day, then by the very nature of Opposite Day, you're saying it's not really Opposite Day at all. But if you tell people that it's not Opposite Day, then everyone will be confused and everything you say will get taken the wrong way. (Oh, and "Today is Opposite Day"...what's the opposite of that, anyway?! "Yesterday wasn't a regular day?" That doesn't even make sense!) It's just a big problem, enough of one that I think Opposite Day should be abolished forever.

Another thing I've thought about a lot throughout my life is thinking! There's one that is guaranteed to give you a headache. Just count on it. Seriously, how the heck do we think? It doesn't make sense. Yeah, so there's a bunch of chemical reactions going on and electricity and whatever, but how does that form a concept in your mind? Not only that, but how can you think in concepts, even when you can't put it into words? I don't get it. That used to frustrate me to no end when I was a kid. And by kid, I mean like 5 years old. What 5-year-old thinks about this stuff?!?

Oh, and feelings! Where do they come from? How is it possible to physically feel an emotion? When you're sad, why do you feel a literal pain in your heart? Or when you like someone, why does it feel so weird in your stomach? Where does that come from?!

I don't just think about stupid random stuff, though. I think about people a lot. I like people. I like their differences and similarities and how they interact with each other. I like watching groups of friends, how each person within the group is a totally unique individual, yet there's this general nature or personality of the group as a whole that each person contributes to. I like how total opposites can complement each other and get along perfectly. I like how complex we all are, yet somehow fit together. People are just so cool. That's why I like studying personalites. I gave my whole family something similar to the MBTI test the other day, just for my own amusement. It was so interesting! Like, me and my brother were literally exact opposites (I'm an ENFJ; he's an ISTP). How did that happen? We both grew up in the same house, were raised the same way...yet we're completely different people. So cool. And just look at my group of friends--talk about diversity! We all have very different personalities, talents, and interests, yet we get along incredibly well. I love it!

Something else: How one tiny action on the part of one person can end up affecting another person's life in major ways with this ripple effect kind of thing. Small-scale example: When I was a lot younger, my musical tastes were very limited. There wasn't much range at all; it was pretty much confined to pop-related stuff. Well, I started liking this guy, and his tastes were definitely different than mine. In an effort to have more in common with him, I started trying to listen to some of his music, which introduced me to a lot of new artists. That just had this ripple effect to create my current musical tastes, which are very diverse. If my tastes had never been broadened, I never would have heard a ton artists that I now love. I never would have listened to so many songs that God has used in my life. And God definitely uses music in my life. He speaks to me through songs a lot, and those songs have helped me through a lot of difficult times. But that never would've been possible had I not liked that guy. (Okay, maybe that was sort of a lame example, but you get the idea.)

I also think about my own life and how everything interrelates. That's just a God-thing, in my opinion. It's so cool to look back at different experiences and to be able to see at least part of the reasoning behind why each thing happened. I'm going blank on examples right now, but trust me, there have been countless ones. I like thinking about this in regards to other people's lives, too.

Oh, good grief. Now I've set off about a zillion thought processes in my mind. Excuse me while I go ponder on all of this for the next 3 hours.