Showing posts with label grace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grace. Show all posts

Monday, December 31, 2012

A year of grace.

Grace.

If years can be summed up in one word, that would be mine.

Last year was a year of breaking. This year has been one of putting it all back together again. I don't know how He did it, only that He did. And it has been a beautiful thing.

I've spent hours trying to find the right words to describe this year, to explain the grace I've been given, but tonight, I realized…I can't. Sometimes, words are not enough. There is so much to be said, and maybe I'll have the chance to share it all someday, but for now, I will leave my reflection of 2012 at this:

His grace is enough.
His mercy is everlasting.
His love never fails.

Sometimes, less is more.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

How to help you grow.


Growing, changing, learning, discovering--all some of my favorite things. It's the process that I love, rather than the final destination. In the middle of things, I usually find myself wishing for something more straightforward, more cut-and-dried, longing for some concrete, step-by-step instructions to just figure it out already! Yet, in the end, that isn't what satisfies me because that isn't what makes me grow. That isn't what makes the lessons part of who I am.

I've learned this about myself over the course of the past few years. And I love seeing that same process in other people. The problem: I'm not very good at letting that process happen in other people, especially those closest to me.

So often, I see someone struggling with something so similar to what I've dealt with in the past. I want so badly for them to come to the same understanding that I have--lessons in grace, thankfulness, joy, perseverance...whatever it may be. Unfortunately, I tend to lay it out for them as a step-by-step plan of action (or try to condense all of the details and connections and everything that made my experience meaningful into a little bite-sized speech that loses its significance). I forget that God doesn't work inside a box. He doesn't work the same way in every person. The lessons might ultimately be the same, but the process by which they're learned is unique to each person.

God is personal. He's relational, and that's how He teaches us. The way He communicates with my best friend or my boyfriend or my little brother might be completely unrecognizable to me at first glance...

...and that's a good thing.


It's such proof of how well God knows each of us, not just on a surface level but deeply. He knows how our minds work, He knows our hearts, and He knows exactly what makes us tick. He gets me enough to know to communicate with me through books and lyrics and falling leaves. He knows the jumps my mind makes to connect seemingly unrelated ideas into something so profound.

He knows I'll get it.

If He can do that for me on such a deeply personal level, won't He do the same for everyone else, communicating with them in ways that I might not understand?

The thing is, I understand the concept mentally. I get it. And that leaves me here: how do I live like I get it? How does it look in real life? Because that's what I want to do, both with my life and in my relationships.

I want to be able to foster that kind of growth in other people without resorting to giving unnecessary advice and telling them what they need to do.* I want to help other people discover the answers for themselves, because really, that's what it's all about anyway. That's how we grow, and I want to help people grow. I want to be able to step back and let God do His thing and not get in the way. Still, there's a place for human influence. Where's the balance between sitting back and doing nothing and going too far?

I don't know.
I don't have the answers this time.

This is one of those posts I can't wrap up nice and neat, because I'm still trying to figure it out myself. So I'm asking--have you ever wrestled with this before? I know that the answer varies from situation to situation, but what have some of your experiences been?**

And, I don't know. Maybe this is one of those things that can't ever really be answered, because it can't be put into a box. Maybe there isn't an answer. Maybe it just has to be lived and figured out along the way, different for every single situation. And maybe I need to be okay with that.

*I definitely think advice has its place, but right now, I need to learn not to give it. I have a tendency to think I have the answers, when in reality, I don't at all.
**Think about this in terms of personal relationships, like friendships or marriage or even children, on a spiritual level. That's where I struggle most. How do you help someone grow spiritually without trying to give them all the answers?

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Your grace is enough.

via Megan Gilger
Listening to: "Closer to Love" by Mat Kearney
(I got to see him in concert a couple of weeks ago! So, so good--he's just as great live as he is on his albums. I am so glad I got to go!)

I've officially decided: I hate busyness. Productivity is good. Busy is definitely not. Even now, the only way I'm managing any free time to blog is because I'm sitting in a nursing home lobby by myself, waiting for students in the class I TA for to finish their service project.* Seriously, the number one thing that I've wanted for weeks is a few hours of absolute quiet, all to myself. Maybe someday...

Anyway, this semester. Whoa. It has been really, really good, but really difficult at the same time (just in a completely different way than last semester!). College is always a bit of a balancing act, but this semester is taking it to a whole new level. 17 credit hours (including 2 senior level psych classes and a science), auditing 1 hour, and TAing for a 63-person class, on top of getting back into a relationship, not to mention keeping myself on track with my relationship with God…yeah, it's slightly nuts. (I realize that this seems pretty run-of-the-mill for a lot of people, but for someone who definitely does not thrive on being crazy-busy all the time, it's a stretch!)

via Pinterest
In short, this year so far has been one big lesson to teach me that I'm not perfect, that I really do need God more than anything, and what the meaning of grace really is. For some reason, it can be very hard for me to remember that this is all a process. I'm not going to get it down right away. I'm going to mess up. At the same time, I have to keep trying. That can be a hard balance to find: understanding that His grace makes up for my mistakes because He understands and loves me anyway…
"The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust."
- Psalm 103:13-14
…but not letting that cause me to think that what I do doesn't matter, that I don't have to keep striving to be better.
"Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it?"
- Romans 6:1-2
I am so thankful for what I've been given, but sometimes--most of the time--I feel so unbelievably inadequate. As wonderful as it all is--and it is wonderful--it is so much responsibility and I know all too well how incapable I am. I've proven that over and over and over again. After praying and praying for what I wanted so much, now that I actually have it, I'm constantly asking God, "Are You sure about this? I don't know if I can handle it after all!" Yet He's continually reminding me:
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
- 2 Corinthians 12:9
If this is where He wants me, He's going to give me the strength to do it correctly. His grace really is enough. Keeping Him first is the key. If only I could remember that…

Hopefully this balance I'm trying to find will include some free time to blog, but I make no promises! Until next time...

* Thank God for smart phones--my parents got me an iPhone for Christmas. LOVE IT. It is saving my life this semester!