Tuesday, September 14, 2010

"I am changing..."

Have you ever known that you're in the middle of a big transition? It's weird. I think that, normally, I don't really recognize when I'm in the transition; I only see it after it's already occurred. This time is different: something is changing and I know it.

It's going to be a good change for me, and as much as it scares me, I'm also really excited. I've been completely stuck for over a year and a half now, and honestly, most of the time, I thought things were never going to change. All I knew is that I had been trying for what seemed like forever, and I literally could not get out, one way or the other. The fact that things are finally shifting is a God-thing, 100%.

Now, I'm just processing a lot. I've been having all these random flashbacks of stuff that I really haven't thought much about in awhile, and it's weird. It's as if I still have all of this stuff from the past year and a half, and it's still very much a part of me--a huge part--but now I don't know what to do with all of it. Obviously, it's not going away. I am who I am because of it, and I'm thankful. But it's like everything has to be rearranged now, and I don't quite know what to do about it. It's a strange feeling. It doesn't really feel good, but it's not necessarily bad, either. I don't know how to describe it.

So that's where I am right now. I'm not really sure what it means, or where I'm heading, but I do know that things are going to be different. Right now, that's all I really care about.

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