Monday, April 13, 2009

Thinking, over-thinking...

Listening To: You're Not Sorry by Taylor Swift

I have recently come to the realization that I think entirely too much.

I was talking to Mike the other night, having one of our usual Facebook conversations about nothing in particular, and we somehow got on the subject of thinking and the random stuff I think about. Well, now I can't stop thinking about those things. For example, the concept of Opposite Day has eluded me my whole life. I mean, if you actually say the opposite for everything, you end up saying something that's not really the opposite of what you mean at all. Like, for "Everything is beautiful," you would say, "Nothing isn't ugly," which doesn't really make sense at all. At least, it definitely isn't the opposite in meaning, which would be "Nothing is beautiful," or maybe, "Everything is ugly." But then you aren't really using opposites. Not only that, but how can you even tell someone that it's Opposite Day? If you say, "Today is Opposite Day," on Opposite Day, then by the very nature of Opposite Day, you're saying it's not really Opposite Day at all. But if you tell people that it's not Opposite Day, then everyone will be confused and everything you say will get taken the wrong way. (Oh, and "Today is Opposite Day"...what's the opposite of that, anyway?! "Yesterday wasn't a regular day?" That doesn't even make sense!) It's just a big problem, enough of one that I think Opposite Day should be abolished forever.

Another thing I've thought about a lot throughout my life is thinking! There's one that is guaranteed to give you a headache. Just count on it. Seriously, how the heck do we think? It doesn't make sense. Yeah, so there's a bunch of chemical reactions going on and electricity and whatever, but how does that form a concept in your mind? Not only that, but how can you think in concepts, even when you can't put it into words? I don't get it. That used to frustrate me to no end when I was a kid. And by kid, I mean like 5 years old. What 5-year-old thinks about this stuff?!?

Oh, and feelings! Where do they come from? How is it possible to physically feel an emotion? When you're sad, why do you feel a literal pain in your heart? Or when you like someone, why does it feel so weird in your stomach? Where does that come from?!

I don't just think about stupid random stuff, though. I think about people a lot. I like people. I like their differences and similarities and how they interact with each other. I like watching groups of friends, how each person within the group is a totally unique individual, yet there's this general nature or personality of the group as a whole that each person contributes to. I like how total opposites can complement each other and get along perfectly. I like how complex we all are, yet somehow fit together. People are just so cool. That's why I like studying personalites. I gave my whole family something similar to the MBTI test the other day, just for my own amusement. It was so interesting! Like, me and my brother were literally exact opposites (I'm an ENFJ; he's an ISTP). How did that happen? We both grew up in the same house, were raised the same way...yet we're completely different people. So cool. And just look at my group of friends--talk about diversity! We all have very different personalities, talents, and interests, yet we get along incredibly well. I love it!

Something else: How one tiny action on the part of one person can end up affecting another person's life in major ways with this ripple effect kind of thing. Small-scale example: When I was a lot younger, my musical tastes were very limited. There wasn't much range at all; it was pretty much confined to pop-related stuff. Well, I started liking this guy, and his tastes were definitely different than mine. In an effort to have more in common with him, I started trying to listen to some of his music, which introduced me to a lot of new artists. That just had this ripple effect to create my current musical tastes, which are very diverse. If my tastes had never been broadened, I never would have heard a ton artists that I now love. I never would have listened to so many songs that God has used in my life. And God definitely uses music in my life. He speaks to me through songs a lot, and those songs have helped me through a lot of difficult times. But that never would've been possible had I not liked that guy. (Okay, maybe that was sort of a lame example, but you get the idea.)

I also think about my own life and how everything interrelates. That's just a God-thing, in my opinion. It's so cool to look back at different experiences and to be able to see at least part of the reasoning behind why each thing happened. I'm going blank on examples right now, but trust me, there have been countless ones. I like thinking about this in regards to other people's lives, too.

Oh, good grief. Now I've set off about a zillion thought processes in my mind. Excuse me while I go ponder on all of this for the next 3 hours.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Laughter is the best medicine.

"A happy heart is like good medicine." 
~ Proverbs 17:22a 
That's probably one of the truest things I can think of right now. My stomach hurts from laughing so much tonight. (Have I ever mentioned that I love, love, love my friends?!? They are so wonderful...I'm so, so blessed to have them in my life. I seriously couldn't ask for a better group of friends. We're pretty much awesome.)

Tonight, we went to the Shenanigans improv show (congrats to Diff, Lauren, Richard, Harrison, and the rest of the crew--you guys did great!), then to Jazzy's (another reason my stomach hurts--I seriously need to stop getting their coffee...forever), where we sat outside the mail room for awhile, which we haven't done in what seems like forever. After that, we decided to head to Tharp and bake cookies and muffins, since the guys can officially come into the 2nd floor lounge. That was a good plan. I laughed so much tonight. It felt so good, just being in there with all of them. I like how I'm pretty much completely comfortable with most people here now. It's such a great feeling, knowing you can be yourself (even when it's completely lame) and they'll still love you.

Another funny thing: The complete irony of the situation. Last semester, the night of the Shenanigans show was the craziest night of my LIFE (or close enough). I was so confused, and entirely unhappy. Ha! I don't think I'll ever forget that. It's hilarious now, but man. Just all the awkwardness between me and a certain other person...ugh. Tonight? Total opposite. We are totally cool now, and I love that. We can joke around and carry on a legit conversation with no awkwardness! Thank. God. And I mean that literally--thank God! It was definitely all Him.

I am so happy right now. I like the feeling of being completely content and happy with life. It's nice to know God is looking out for me. :)

Friday, March 13, 2009

My Life and Thoughts: The Short Version.

Listening To: Enough For Now by The Fray

Every "normal" entry I try to write feels too weird and introspective and reminds me of someone I do not want to be compared to. Heh! Since I don't have much to say that I can go into any real detail on, here's the short version. 

A few quick points...
  • I have recently discovered that some friendships aren't worth maintaining. I'm starting to see how it's a good thing that God took the relationship away. I am so over it. Sometimes, being acquaintances is better. (Even if it is a little awkward.)
  • Taking things one day at a time is a good idea. Sometimes, though, I wish I could press the fast-forward button on life. But then, that would mean some of the greatest moments of life would never happen. The wait is a huge part of what makes them great, I think. That's hard to remember when you're still in the process of the wait.
  • The words I speak matter so much. I can never know how they will affect someone, and once you say them, it's done--you can't ever take them back. I realized a few days ago that I am way too flippant with what I say. I can say something negative about someone and then realize that they're standing right behind me. Even if the particular person isn't around, I don't know who will hear what I say. I mean, have you ever realized how many random, unexpected connections there are between people? What if I say something bad about someone to someone else and it turns out those two are best friends who have known each other for years? Not only that, but words have major power. A mindless comment can change someone's life. Literally.
  • You never, ever, ever know what other people are going through. Treat them well. Always.
  • To go along with that, since when does someone being different than me give me the right to treat them with less respect? Just wondering, because I'm finding that it's the norm to talk about, degrade, and ignore those who are less "socially acceptable," and I'm not seeing how that's okay. I am such a jerk for allowing myself to be blinded to that fact and even participate. That stops here--people are people. We all deserve to be loved and respected. I want to be accepted for who I am, quirks and all (because I definitely have my share). I think I owe the rest of the world that courtesy, too.
Just a few things to remember. That's all.

P.S. Spring break has been good, but I wouldn't object to seeing my friends. :) However, I haven't been quite so anxious to get back as usual. I think that's a good thing.