Letting go and other unrelated things

Listening To: "Rescued" by Jack's Mannequin
I love this song. So much. It really, really makes me want to learn to play piano. Sigh. Another thing to add to the list of things to do before I die, I suppose! :)

First things first: I finally have a car! Awesome it is not, and technically, I'm sharing it with my brother (though I definitely say I have priority. After all, I did go through my freshman and sophomore years without one at all), but hey--it's a car. It works. I can now get around by myself instead of constantly having to rely on other people, not to mention using up my friends' gas all the time. All things considered, I am definitely not complaining!

Second, I talked to Katie (my Little Pal) tonight! She was like, "I MISS YOU!!!" and when I asked how her summer was, she said, "It was great, but it wasn't as fun without you." Yeah, I officially miss her and can't wait to see her soon! I love that kid.

Third, I like how God always manages to teach me something when I'm least expecting it (most of the time, those lessons have to do with trust. Actually, almost always). All summer, He's been teaching me what it means to let go. I apparently have a classic case of always wanting to be in control, and with God, that doesn't tend to work too well. At one point, I thought I had moved past that, but then I realized that it's not always as obvious as it seems. Sometimes, I honestly believe that I'm doing the right thing, like putting a situation behind me, or trying to be the peacemaker, or a number of other similar situations. While these things might be good in theory, and my motives are right, it's still putting me in control. I'm still putting the responsibility on myself when I can't actually do anything about it. Honestly, there are some situations that I get so stressed out about when in reality, only God can do anything about them. I spend so much time trying to fix them that I forget that. I've had to learn to let those things go and be like, "Okay, God. I'm done trying to fix this. I'm letting it go and giving it to You--it's not my problem anymore." Of course, if He chooses to use me as He works things out, then I am totally okay with and open to that. It's not me checking out and saying, "Whatever happens, happens," and relieving myself of any responsibility in my life. It is leaving literally everything in my life up to God and following His lead instead of taking things upon myself. It's been an interesting (and sometimes difficult) thing to learn, but it is incredibly freeing! It makes life a lot more adventurous (because who knows what's coming next?!) and a lot less stressful (because more stress is the last thing I need!).

Speaking of stress: I head back to Lee in less than a week! While I'm not thrilled about starting classes up again (hence the relation to stress), I absolutely cannot wait to see everyone again. I also can't wait to move into my new apartment! So excited. It's going to be awesome.

¿Cómo se dice "taco"?

First things first: I finally got around to making a header for the blog. Not the greatest thing I've ever made in my life, but I think it works okay. :) I've been meaning to do it forever, so I decided to go ahead and do it now that it's finally THE WEEKEND.

(Insert complete and total happiness here.)

Speaking of the weekend, it's been awhile since I've needed one this bad! Staying true to traditional week-after-Convocation form, this week has been way too stressful for its own good. If this wasn't already true, it definitely is now: I officially hate research papers (see last post for more details). And to think, it was supposed to be a fairly easy paper on something I'm actually interested in. But no--I was still up until after 4am and only that soon because I basically gave up on it. Way to make a good first impression on your professor, me.

The snow yesterday was nice. :) It was the light, powdery kind that didn't really stick to the roads or sidewalks, meaning we didn't have a huge, slushy mess to trek through like we did a couple of weeks ago (though we also got to make a snowman). It was just really pretty and peaceful, which was exactly what I needed. Not great for playing in, but I'm kind of over that at this point anyway. I just want spring. All this cold and cloudiness is getting to me. I need sunshine! And warm weather! And green! Sigh. It'll get here soon enough, I guess. The lack of it is just making life in general kind of blah. Oh well.

In an attempt to make my life a little more interesting, my mom and brother decided to make videos for me. They're completely random, but they made me laugh a lot. Here's one of several:

Yeah, my family is ridiculous. The video served its purpose though--it did make me happy!